Last week of summer.

It's always a feeling that creeps in as the summer season closes and fall looms...

It's not an easy "feeling" to describe.

I think it stems back to when we're pretty little.... knowing a more steady routine is near.

As we age - even in our younger years... we realize that "routine" holds many stakes.

Expectations slowly rise .... letter grades, sports, church, friends.....

As a parent.... those expectations are also there, different, but still remain.

And as I think back over the past year and how quickly it's passed me by..... the stakes seem very high.

I am constantly amazed how much a few months or a year can impact my heart, as a mama.

Last September.... after a very busy and tiring summer with two (almost) 3 year olds and a newborn.... I was somewhat eager for a new routine.

Yes - hesitant to send the twins off to a new (uncontrolled by me) environment, but settled in the fact I would have precious time with my baby and they would have educational stimulation beyond what I could provide.

Next week - we return to that same routine.  A few days a week the "big girls" will go off to school, while mama and "baby" stay home.

This year - my (almost) 4 year olds and my (almost) 18 month old seem very, very different from those babies of late last summer.

Just yesterday I saw a pair of 2 1/2 year old twins at the park.  They seemed so little.

It took me back to remember Ms. K & Ms. R were that exact same age when we brought Ms. A home from the hospital.

Fall brings change - change of seasons and colors and hearts.

I've gone as far as to contemplate if I should send them to pre-school??

Our time without actual regulated school is short and precious.

As the neighborhood school bus passes by next week I'll be reminded in no time they will have their very own boarding passes.

This urges me to keep them all to myself for as long as I can.

The hubs reminds me .. it's best not to make decisions based on high emotion.

Time will move forward whether I like it or not .... and as I witness friends sending their kids to Kindergarten, middle, high school and college for the very first time - non of it is easy.

It's actually all hard.

Ms. A was a mere 6 month old baby last September.... with smiles and coos and just sitting up.

But now - my 18 month old is as busy as her sisters, has the personality of a class clown and the determination of a Kilimanjaro mountain climber.

Last fall I remember taking BIG DEEP breaths as the twins wanted to do absolutely everything by themselves.  From dressing, to socks & shoes and hair combing.  I wondered how I would make it through that stage? The time it took to ready them for school seemed like more work than it was worth. They were branching out -yet needed so much direction.

This fall... the good Lord has shown me -- patience pays off! They are so proficient at all those tasks that last fall had me pulling at my hair.  They can do it all - and so much more.  They are little mamas with their baby sister.  They are her comfort without any doubt.  They are a little "clan".  They travel about the house together playing and learning as they go.

So, this morning ... as we're jamming to "Wheels on the Bus" and "I'm a little teapot".... I savor our little nest.  It's ours and no one can come in and change it.

We have our highs and lows... our up and downs.... our giggles and our tears.

All of us.

Next Wednesday... we'll have to shake the webs from our brains and sleep from our eyes and start our new fall "routine".

It's coming straight at me like a freight train.

There is no stopping it.

We've had a memorable summer ... there's no redo or replay on this time.

There's only today and prayers for tomorrow.

So - I have to run now.  I have babies to twirl in my living room and when I get a little dizzy from all that dancing.... I'll take a seat and watch it all go on around me.

A very blessed, albeit TOO FAST, life we're living.

CHERISH!!!

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!