Plague be gone with you!

Warning:: I'm kinda ticked off...

In just the past 6 weeks our household has had.....  go ahead - sit back and get comfy.....

Hand, foot & mouth virus (x3), strep throat, strange & unexplainable viral fevers (even daddy), ear infections, stomach aches, strange body aches and the list marches on (I'm just too tired to recall it ALL)...

When you put all 5 of us together.... it seems someone has been sick ALL OF THE TIME.

I feel like, for the most part, I've been able to take this in stride.

I have three kids - and kids are germ sponges.

And because I have three kids.... they pass it to each other - and sometimes to us.

It's life, right?

They have been fairly cooperative with spreading out the illnesses so we've not have more than 2 (way) down at a time....

But this morning when Ms. R woke before dawn and seemed all out of sorts.... my patience hit the skids.

I felt her sweet little forehead.... warm, really warm.

103 degrees warm.

I've certainly been trying to focus on the positive of having sick kids ... they are more willing to snuggle up, willing to be still, more anxious to soup up mommy's love and enjoy individual attention.

But, today - today I'm mad.

Mad because I've had enough.

Mad because we had really special plans for the weekend - and poof, just like that we're not going anywhere.

My sweet niece, H,was to spend the ENTIRE weekend with us - which doesn't happen very often because of crazy, busy schedules.

My grandma's birthday is TODAY - and we had plans to surprise her with a fun birthday party at her home.

My high school girlfriends are all getting together tonight - a group I only see a few times a year....

And then of course -- the crappy task of having to tell the girls we can't go.

Not going on a planned trip to Grandma's is like.... canceling a Disney vacation.  I kid you not.

But, instead we hunker down, yet again, to let the fever pass....

And to pray it doesn't spread to the rest of us.

And pass it will... but, our little family is sick of the plague that has landed smack dab on our home.

Yes - it could be MUCH worse... and I totally get that.

I get that most days, but for today..... I'm gonna excuse myself from keeping a strong upper lip and just declare...

this sucks.

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!

Just as they are...

It's been seven months and two days since I last logged into my blog.

I wonder if I still have any followers?

I wonder if this post will trigger an email letting you "out there" know that we are still HERE.

Over the course of the past couple of years I've realized I'm becoming more of a "homebody" than ever before.

Yes, I like to get out .. at times.  Maybe a night out with the hubs or dinner with family or friends, but where I prefer to be most of the time is at home with my girls.

In the early days of parenting, when I literally couldn't get out of the house with out much strife & struggle... I seemed to want out in a bad way.

I wanted reasons and excuses to step away from my norm....

But that just isn't the case as much anymore.

And, I think that's spilled into my blogging life, too.

I think I longed for interpersonal and social interaction in the early days - and now... I have much of that here at home with my girls.

No, it's not always deep, intellectual conversation..... but it's fulfilling non the less.

I don't have that crazy urge to connect with the outside world.

Almost the opposite -- I actually long to keep my little family safe and inside (figuratively speaking).

I think it's perhaps because I know these days are numbered.

Numbered as.... in less than a calendar year our twins will be in Kindergarten, full-time.

This brings me to my knees.

And as easy as it is to recall the days I literally clung to the clock almost wishing the seconds away....

I now beg for time to stop.

I am not one of those moms who says..... oh, if only I could have a conversation with myself 5 years ago... telling me I would regret wishing time away.... and telling me to be more content in the moment.

I don't say that because in reality those days were hard. Crazy hard. And I don't think a conversation like that would have done any good.

The truth is - it was the hard days..... (and when I say hard I mostly mean exhausting because the main issues was sleeplessness).... that have brought me to where I am today.

Would I call these easy days?

Some days, yes - I do.

They are easy in the fact that we are all here, together, playing, singing, dancing, learning, cooking, reading, .... whatever the heck we want!

I love that and it's easy.

And I know those days are numbered.

Letting go of our own schedule and letting the world in a little more.

As amazing as it will be to watch the girls all learn and develop and begin to process life a little more, I can't help but like things just as they are.

Just as they are....

Ms. K & Ms. R in all their age FIVE glory...

Ms. A ... who, when asked, also says she's age 5, but in reality smack dab in the middle of age 2.

All three girls with their imaginative play..... all have big roles in the show .... Ms. K as "big kid", Ms. R as "mommy" and Ms. A as "baby".......

It can go on for hours.... from upstairs to downstairs to out on the play set or in the garage....

And, they don't really want me to watch the show.... but I listen in the wings.

From learning to sound out words to asking a million questions about everything and nothing....

It's just as they are..... and believe me... I'm capturing it in my mind.

Because I know I have missed sharing many stories on this blog over the past year or so.

I've often thought how blog-worthy things could be.

But then - I just try to fully enjoy the moment.... knowing that if I write about it or not - it will pass me by.

And as much as I've always loved writing - I often ponder how I could use it for good.

But I'm still in that thought because it's not what I'm supposed to be filling my days with right now.

I am not entirely sure what prompted me to log in today--- who knows... maybe I'll start writing on here again.... maybe, maybe not.

It's kind of like our days - we aren't every quite sure what we do, but they pass quickly and there's a whole lotta love.

I will always love this blog - it holds so many memories for me and I've certainly loved sharing our girls with you.

It feels good  to check-in.... but now it's time to rouse my three (well, technically two) sleeping beauties from their afternoon nap.

It's a night when the hubs works late - the kind of night that all those years ago I definitely used to DREAD..... but that's just not the case anymore.

I think we'll make cookies and, well, whatever the heck else we want. ;);)

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!

<<{two}>>

Our baby - our Ayla Anne .... turns TWO, today.

Yesterday... as I sat down to write my letter ... I loved that solitude time I spent thinking only of her.

My Dearest Ayla boo, Aylie boolie, Boola Boo, A-baby, Aylie bailey boo.....

Today I'm relishing in your very last day as a 1 year old.  When you woke up I looked at you with glossy mama eyes and took a deep breath.

I wanted to be still in that morning moment...

Will it be the last birthday you wake up in your crib?

Arms up high.... reaching for me ---- with your messy hair from burrowing deep into your ca coon where all your BFF's sleep along with you.

"Out, mama" you suggest.

I sit for a moment in your milk-stained, light pink rocker .. before I lift you up and out.

I open the window shade, a cloudy & wet morning greets us.... much like the early days of your life when we lived in Seattle....

You plop back down in your crib.... back to nurturing your babies, your puppies and your beloved, Elmo.

Mothering you has been so completely effortless.

It's sincerely been the way you picture it - read about it - dream it - pray for it to be.

As I think back to those early days.... as you slept with me and daddy in the loft in Seattle ... I knew then, and would often dwell upon how fast that time would pass.

I knew you would begin to stretch out in my arms.... I knew those cherished moments of a tiny pink baby against my chest would slowly fade ...fade like a sunset on a beautiful summer's day....

You know it will disappear.... but if you look away for just a second ... it will happen without your permission.  And you will be sad you missed it.

I've tried with all my heart not to "miss things" with you my sweet, sweet boo.

Since the moment you were born you've had an amazing purpose in my life.

If I could go back and have a little chat with myself .... I would say so many things, knowing what I know about you now.

We'd just gotten our bearings after moving across the country with your two big sisters.

You would have been so proud of them - they were handling the transition so well.... mommy & daddy.... well, we weren't as "adjusted" let's say.

But, we were giving our new circumstances our "all".... and trying to embrace the change.

Long about 3 weeks after we moved.... on a gray and wet Sunday morning in Seattle.... I learned {YOU} were inside of me...... already growing like a little weed.

I packed up your sisters and we set out for a long walk to the park.  All the way I was thinking of YOU.  Dreaming of YOU.

And, you.... YOU were changing my "unsettled" mama heart.

You were telling me... mama, it's going to be OK.... I'm here now.... you can relax and rest assured this year in Seattle is going to have amazing purpose.

My Ayla....... your wisdom in that moment has never ceased to amaze me.

Your soul so sweet..... your soft speaking voice and infectious giggles.

Your determination... my oh my... I can see now why God knew you were up for the job of grounding me in an uncertain time.

You will climb to ANY height (literally) to get what you want.....

Your sweet embraces and soft little kisses... your hugs and another hug and ONE MORE hug before bed send me out of your bedroom beaming every single night.

You love to pray.  You fold your sweet little hands just before we say good night and sweetly say.... "mama, daddy, Riah, & puppies".... mama adds Kenna because you can't "quite" say her name yet, and then you say... AMEN.

Oh my love.... as a mother... I'm constantly saying a million prayers that I'm doing things right by you and your sisters.

God has often reassured me, though, as I watch how you love others.

It spills from your heart...

There's so much more I can say about who you are at "age two"...

Smart as a whip - waaaay ahead of your mama!

Funny.  Hysterical, actually.  You are always entertaining us and you KNOW you are funny.

Curious.... and into every little thing in our home.  Nothing if off limits to you.  I can't put anything high enough - you will get to it.

Good sleeper.  Bless your soul.  A nice afternoon nap and 10 hours at night.  Thank you sweet child.

Sugar AND spice -- you are so very sweet... but you have a spicy side, too! Don't let us fool anyone!

Speaking of sweet.... you love all things sugar like your mama.  If up to you, your diet would consist of that and only that .... shhhhhhhhh... don't tell the big girls all the treats I give you when they are at school! ;) You are a good eater though .. willing to try almost anything including our nightly veggie.

Determined.... to be like your big sisters.  You won't let them get ahead of you... you are right there and into everything they are.  Thankfully... they (mostly) oblige you.

Dancing queen ... when the music starts pumping you are swinging your hips like the best of 'em.  You love to dance and recently, sing too!

You have changed and grown so much this past year.

I fight the tears as you go full speed ahead into age two.

It's happening.

I don't want to look away and miss it, but I have a hard time parting with my one year old baby.

I know it's time.... and just like before ... YOU are here reassuring me....

"Mama.... everything is going to be as it should be.... Everything is going to follow God's plan..."

And I can hear you say ....

"Tomorrow morning when we wake.... I'll be just about to turn two, and that's OK.  I want you to smile and be happy and celebrate".....

God's timing.  It is miraculous and I am a steadfast believer... He is always with us, here for us and entrusting us with his precious gifts.... even when we are unsure and uncertain if we can handle them.

And what a gift it is .... to be your mom.

Thank you, my Ayla baby, for filling my moments, my days, my LIFE with so much joy.

I'd be lost without you.

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always... forever and EVER my baby you'll be.

I love you so much, it hurts.

Happy 2nd birthday Ayla Anne...
Your mama

365 days

On January 10th, 2013........  hubs accepted his long anticipated first "real" job.

 The job he'd been preparing for, for the better part of 15 years.

Today marks one year later .... ONE WHOLE YEAR.

I kinda feel like I'm getting to that stage in life where I can honestly say ... time flies.

I mean yes, we all say it -- but I no longer look at the clock or the calendar and think anything but how fast it's going.

When the twins were age {birth - 2} .... I can now admit -- time often went very slow.

I was alone a lot - with two needy babies and kinda wanted to scream.

I looked at the clock & calendar often - mostly anticipating hubby's arrival home from work or waiting a for day someone had volunteered to come help me with the girls.

But now - every single day races by.  I can't seem to get enough done ... and each night falls faster than the one before.

Thinking back to when I was waaaaaaaay younger.... I admittedly watched the calendar and clock as a student and even an employee.

Time would drag on in those areas of my life.... simply because I was excited to get onto the next thing, whatever that may be.

I think that's what starkly changes when you have kids.

Yes, at times... you are excited to move through a tough phase/stage (esp in those early years).... but after that you wish time would actually stop.

Hubs and I just had a conversation yesterday about how we try to be champions for people thinking about getting married, having a baby or who are in the newness of those phases of life.

Too often.... we hear the negative or concerning comments such as ... "You think it's hard now... JUST WAIT til they are in school ... or teenagers..... or driving....."...

Those comments are not helpful and often somewhat hurtful because it causes worry and uncertainty.

Hubs and I have both gotten our fair share of these kinds of comments because we have twins.

Just as we had NO CLUE what having two babies would be like..... we also have NO CLUE what having two or three teenage daughters will be like.

It will be a mix of endless emotions of all spectrum, I'm sure.

But - as time continues to pass I'd much prefer to just enjoy what we have, now.

I will often talk with new moms... either in our neighborhood, on Facebook, at the gym.... and I'm always careful to try and share all the good things that are right around the corner.

Because there are .... way more good things than tough things.... and with how fast these last 365 days have flown..... I'm confident every parent wants to relish the moment.

I feel like people who are thinking about having children may be skeptical ... thinking it's all filled with poo diapers, tantrums, sleepless nights, and sassy attitudes.

I promise you -- it's NOT.

Just last night -- the girls and I were hanging out.... daddy was getting home late.

We had dinner and snuggled in on the couch.  I turned to find them all in a sweet embrace.

This is my life - 365 days of every year.

As tired and weary as I grow some days...... it's the life God planned for me and I'm doing my best not to let Him down by rushing through it.

Love only multiplies - and this is my living proof.

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!

Too cool for school.

Literally.

It's too cold to go to school... or pretty much anywhere for that matter.

Temp with windchill - 48 degrees BELOW zero.

Quite a way to welcome in a New Year ... with temps we hearty Minnesotans can most certainly handle..... from the comforts of our warm home with a cup of coffee and warm piece of banana bread in hand.

Ya, that way.

The twins follow a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday preschool schedule so they are home with me today.

As we marched up to bed last night I said.... No school tomorrow means we clean, clean, clean and organize!

They looked at me like I was a bit nutty.... which made me giggle.

Took me about 2 hours to get rolling this morning - but once I did we were full speed ahead.

Spent the next four hours with my nose buried in 3 little girls' closets and one hall closet.

It's funny how each of their closets are filled with different things.

Clothes, of course..... but I've found homes for random things in each one.

Today I was feeling especially purge-full - doubt that's a word, but hey - roll with it please.

Things I've overlooked for years... literally YEARS caught my eye today and seems it's time to bid farewell to some of that stuff.

It's good for the soul - closet cleansing.

I just wish someone paid me to do it.... maybe I should start a business called "Closet Cleansing".

I digress...

It always amazes me how when I get busy into a big project like this my girls suddenly find things to do and pretty much let me work.

They uncover hidden treasures, toys that have been lost, and even empty boxes to play in.

It's fabulous and really should motivate me to do more of this type of thing.

I feel the same way with cleaning -- once I get rolling they get up and get moving, too.

Good advice for new moms (especially of multiples).... sitting in the living room with them all begging for your attention is almost the worst scenario.

Once I'm up and on my feet .... they kinda realize it's no fun to sit on the floor and whine.

But the time finally came when all three girls were literally biting my arms and legs off .. I realized it was probably time for some lunch.

It was 1 o'clock after all.

Hard to stop when you're on a pitch & ditch roll.

So - that's how we're spending our "too cool for school" day..... and we'll probably be doing more of the same tomorrow.

I've got my eye on our bathroom closet and cabinets.

Products, lotions, and fragrances oh my!

Time to be out with the old and in with the new!

Which by the way -- HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my readers.... hopefully there are a few of you left!

I hope where ever you are..... you are warm.... and if it's in a tropical location with a beach and a cold beverage.... I don't want to know.

Talk to you soon.

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!

Deep convo at the kitchen table.

When you live in a house of small children.... it pretty much seems like someone is not feeling well, with something, most of the time.

Yes - there are rare, beautiful, amazing stints where NO ONE is ailing.... but with little people .... those seem few and far between.

As winter settles in.... holidays approach.... and germs abound - there's no escaping illnesses.

It's just part of life and especially life with little people.

We've had our fair share of symptoms around here the last month or so.

Runny noses, pink eye, lots of sneezing, barky coughs, tummy aches and our littlest with some pretty nasty teething woes.

So, along with all of that the hubs & I have had much daily chatter about these things as he checks in with how things are going.

I had to (DIE) laughing today when I overheard the twins talking.

It went something like this.... oh, and picture them sitting at the kitchen table talking very casually while coloring....

Ms. K... "How's your tummy, R?"

Ms. R..... "It's still bad, really bad"....

Ms. K.... "I'm sorry honey ... what can I do to help you?"...

Ms. R... "I don't know, maybe get my blankie"...

Ms. K.... "Do you think it's worse than yesterday?"

Ms. R.... "Yes, I do"...

Ms. K.... "I'm thinking we're gonna have to take you in"....

Ms. R... "Ya"..

Ms. K... "And Ms. A, too - she's getting a mouth full of teeth ---- but I just have a cough so I'm good".

Ms. R.... "My tummy comes and goes, so we'll see"..

Ms. K... "Ya, .. I think mom should call dad"....

Ms. R.... YELLING FOR ME ... "Mom.... call dad.  Tell him I can't have milk anymore and my tummy comes and goes"....

Sure, honey -- I'll get right on that.  I have no doubt Dad will want the scoop.

I can't make this stuff up - it was so matter of fact... and they were dead serious.  

They had no clue I was even listening and it both warmed my heart and cracked me up at the exact same time!!

It's too much -- it's just TOO much....these little people.  

As hubs would say -- Ms. K is mommy's mini-me.

You think?!?!?!

With love,

Cuz I'm the mama!

Disney on Ice!

After much humming and hahhh-ing.... we decided (at the very last minute) to take the girls to the Disney on Ice show over the weekend.

The girls' pre-school class attended the show on a field trip - but we decided that was perhaps too much for our little 4 year olds ( an hour bus ride to a big concert arena)....

So Friday afternoon we dialed up ticket master and low and behold they still had some great seats available.

The girls had been hearing about "Disney on Ice" in school - so they were all squeals when we told them we were going as a family.

We were unsure how Ms. A would do -- but leaving her behind just didn't seem quite right.

We planned to grab a little something to eat before the show - but the twins were so excited they could hardly take a bite.... they were nervous we were going to be late (ha.... sounds like mommy, eh??)..

Anyway - we finally made our way to our seats (3rd row from the ice!!)... and settled in.

It's not easy to capture pics at these events because it's dark and the girls are kind of all over the place, but I did get a few shots.

The beautiful costumes, music and dancing had the twins completely mesmerized for the entire 2 hours!

 Daddy loves Disney, too!

Ms. A's eye were WIDE... and curious.

 She looks like she's not having fun, but really she was just in awe!

She really was a trooper.... only got antsy a few times, but I didn't have to take her out so I considered that a huge win!

Throughout the show we saw Lilo & Stitch.... Peter Pan & Tinker-bell, The Lion King... Mickey, Minnie & crew.... and much, much more!

It was so fun...... and really gets us jazzed up for a future Disney World trip!

It was a cold December night.... so we hustled back to the truck and started our journey home... after 9pm, by then.

We look behind us and within a minute ... our sweet little babe was out cold.  She was beat from all that awe and wonder!

The twins on the other hand... spent the hour ride home chitter-chattering about all the fun.

Perfect little Friday night, in my book!

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!