Just as they are...

It's been seven months and two days since I last logged into my blog.

I wonder if I still have any followers?

I wonder if this post will trigger an email letting you "out there" know that we are still HERE.

Over the course of the past couple of years I've realized I'm becoming more of a "homebody" than ever before.

Yes, I like to get out .. at times.  Maybe a night out with the hubs or dinner with family or friends, but where I prefer to be most of the time is at home with my girls.

In the early days of parenting, when I literally couldn't get out of the house with out much strife & struggle... I seemed to want out in a bad way.

I wanted reasons and excuses to step away from my norm....

But that just isn't the case as much anymore.

And, I think that's spilled into my blogging life, too.

I think I longed for interpersonal and social interaction in the early days - and now... I have much of that here at home with my girls.

No, it's not always deep, intellectual conversation..... but it's fulfilling non the less.

I don't have that crazy urge to connect with the outside world.

Almost the opposite -- I actually long to keep my little family safe and inside (figuratively speaking).

I think it's perhaps because I know these days are numbered.

Numbered as.... in less than a calendar year our twins will be in Kindergarten, full-time.

This brings me to my knees.

And as easy as it is to recall the days I literally clung to the clock almost wishing the seconds away....

I now beg for time to stop.

I am not one of those moms who says..... oh, if only I could have a conversation with myself 5 years ago... telling me I would regret wishing time away.... and telling me to be more content in the moment.

I don't say that because in reality those days were hard. Crazy hard. And I don't think a conversation like that would have done any good.

The truth is - it was the hard days..... (and when I say hard I mostly mean exhausting because the main issues was sleeplessness).... that have brought me to where I am today.

Would I call these easy days?

Some days, yes - I do.

They are easy in the fact that we are all here, together, playing, singing, dancing, learning, cooking, reading, .... whatever the heck we want!

I love that and it's easy.

And I know those days are numbered.

Letting go of our own schedule and letting the world in a little more.

As amazing as it will be to watch the girls all learn and develop and begin to process life a little more, I can't help but like things just as they are.

Just as they are....

Ms. K & Ms. R in all their age FIVE glory...

Ms. A ... who, when asked, also says she's age 5, but in reality smack dab in the middle of age 2.

All three girls with their imaginative play..... all have big roles in the show .... Ms. K as "big kid", Ms. R as "mommy" and Ms. A as "baby".......

It can go on for hours.... from upstairs to downstairs to out on the play set or in the garage....

And, they don't really want me to watch the show.... but I listen in the wings.

From learning to sound out words to asking a million questions about everything and nothing....

It's just as they are..... and believe me... I'm capturing it in my mind.

Because I know I have missed sharing many stories on this blog over the past year or so.

I've often thought how blog-worthy things could be.

But then - I just try to fully enjoy the moment.... knowing that if I write about it or not - it will pass me by.

And as much as I've always loved writing - I often ponder how I could use it for good.

But I'm still in that thought because it's not what I'm supposed to be filling my days with right now.

I am not entirely sure what prompted me to log in today--- who knows... maybe I'll start writing on here again.... maybe, maybe not.

It's kind of like our days - we aren't every quite sure what we do, but they pass quickly and there's a whole lotta love.

I will always love this blog - it holds so many memories for me and I've certainly loved sharing our girls with you.

It feels good  to check-in.... but now it's time to rouse my three (well, technically two) sleeping beauties from their afternoon nap.

It's a night when the hubs works late - the kind of night that all those years ago I definitely used to DREAD..... but that's just not the case anymore.

I think we'll make cookies and, well, whatever the heck else we want. ;);)

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!