"My best girl"

Sometimes, in this life, it's much easier to "talk the talk" than it is to "walk the walk".

I've always been one to believe in the idea... "timing is everything".

The difficult part with truly living by this mantra is believing in it when the "timing" of things aren't exactly as we have planned.

Today was Ms. R's scheduled surgery to have her tonsils and adenoids removed and ear tubes placed.

We scheduled this particular "time" way back in mid-December.

In our minds.... this was the perfect time.

Daddy on a research month with more time at home.

My sister on spring break.... and generously offered to care for Ms. K & Ms. A while we were away with Ms. R.

I'm still marveling over her offer to give up her precious time on her spring break.

We had things all set in our minds and in our hearts for TODAY.

Rewind to Friday night... we had a fun pizza dinner with Uncle M.... came home and played and went to bed in good spirits.

Saturday morning - BOOM!.. Ms. R wakes up very warm.

Febrile.

I whisk her off to the pediatrician actually hoping she is having a recurrence of strep throat.  For if that was the case a couple days of antibiotics and she would have been ready for the surgery.

Strep test was negative.

And after two more days of up and down fevers.... we pretty much knew her surgery would not go forward as "scheduled".

Disappointment to say the least.  This has been heavy on our minds and hearts for months, now.

We know the surgery in her best interest.... and especially after sleeping with her the past few nights.

Oh my ... she is restless all night long.

She is up and down... sitting up, kicking, talking, snoring, breathing deeply..... and very, very chronically sleep deprived.

After speaking with her pediatric surgeon.... we were put on a cancellation list and added to the surgery books for late next week.

MORE waiting.... and starting from square one with finding ways to care for A&K while we're away.

Part of me wants to kick and scream (believe me).... but the other part of me actually still has the ability (sleep deprived and all) to see that even in this disappointing situation - TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

In the last 4 weeks.... we've had more illness than we have in a long time.

Two cases of strep throat, a case of the tummy flu, and now a virus that has literally ATTACKED Ms. R which has now moved onto Ms. K -- and I'm fearing Ms. A is not far behind.

Managing all of this on my own seems like the impossible.

I am not sure it could be done, to be honest.

But I have not been alone.

The hubs has been here teaming the whole thing with me - and often times taking the "night shift" so I could get as much sleep as possible.

Talk about TIMING.

The fact he is on a research month - and has been here to scoop up the girls and smother them in care and love....

I can not overlook that kind of timing.

Fevers scare me more than anything with little ones.

They go up and down and the lethargy in Ms. R's body and eyes is just down right frightening, at times.

With these viruses... she seems to get sucker punched the very worst and in reality it's likely because her immune system is down due to chronic fatigue.

So, having the hubs here to monitor the situation and support me - it's been incredible timing.

We've gotten so much family time these last few weeks.

It hasn't always been fun or easy or pretty, but we've all been together which has made it manageable.

I likely would have had to call in a team of people to help me through these last weeks had the hubs been working per his norm.

The girls have been so aware of all this illness, too.

They've become pros at fever checks and medicine taking.

Ms. K has especially been a trooper this week.

She has been very in tune to Ms. R has being down and out.

Last night I had to run to the grocery store.

When I came home Ms. K was patiently waiting for me...

And, waiting for her sister to wake up from a very long nap.

I could tell she missed her.

Without prompt from me... she quietly said....

"Mom, Ms. R is so sick and I am going to take care of her.  She is my BEST girl".

With her big blue eyes filled with concern she repeated this to me a couple of times.

Tears swelled in my eyes.

I was so glad I was home when she had those feelings and thoughts and that she could share them with me.

Timing.... it's not always easy to accept how it all plays out - but if we look and listen.... the reasons are always made abundantly clear.

But that doesn't make it easy.

I read this on a friends' Facebook page today and will be repeating it to myself when I start to doubt God's plan.

"When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always quiet during the test".

Enough said.

With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!