Love hurts sometimes...

...like when you have to see your baby in pain.  And, when you really can't do anything to take that pain away from her.  And, when you hear your baby screaming from being poked with needles by strangers.  It hurts your heart.  In fact ... it breaks it into a million pieces.  But sometimes you have to do it - get through it - be strong for her.  But, it's hard and it hurts your heart.  Love hurts sometimes. 

This is daddy with Ms. K while we waited in the Emergency Room on Saturday night.  It is hard to see in this picture, but she had a raging infection on the left side of her face that spilled into her eye.  We were very worried.  Ms. K was a very brave little girl.  In fact, she was more brave than mommy was most of the time.

Why does it take going through something scary to remind us that life is so precious? Why does it take a hospital stay with my baby to remind me that I need to inhale each day with my babies like it was my last one on earth?  I am not sure I know the answers to these questions because you would think it would come so naturally.  But, we get so caught up in life.  We make mistakes.  We take things for granted.  It's tough to admit, but it's true.  

And so it began....on Saturday morning.  Ms. K woke up with what I thought looked like an allergic reaction to something.  The left side of her face and part of her eye was very red and swollen.  After a trip to Urgent Care (because it was Saturday) we came home to start some oral meds for what they thought was an infection.  How did she get the infection?  It's hard to say, but likely from a little bug that slipped under her skin on her face.  With teething and constant drooling their skin breaks down. 

Saturday evening was drawing near and daddy was not happy with how Ms. K's face looked.  In fact it even appeared to be moving under her eye and the redness was getting worse.  I suddenly got that gut feeling that we should take her to the Emergency Room.  I just didn't want to wait until the next day.  I was worried about her eye, her vision, everything.

When we arrived at Children's Hospital they admitted us almost immediately.  The care they provided for Ms. K was top notch from the minute we arrived until we were discharged.  It was class act customer service around there.  Thank you God!!

After a few rounds of IV meds Ms. K really started to come around.  The lack of sleep was hard, but it was nothing compared to what could have been had the meds not kicked in so quickly.  She didn't want to sleep in her crib on the first night and so we took turns rocking her.  It was a precious time.  As a "twin baby" the "one on one" time can be rare.  We told Ms. K if she wanted some of that "one on one" attention we would have gladly taken her to the zoo or somewhere more fun.  Next time, she promised.  :-)

Here are a few pics after Ms. K started feeling better.  She honestly played like a little angel in her crib at the hospital.  It was a little hard for me to let her be in there very much, though.  I wanted her in my lap, close to me, as much as possible.  It almost hurt me to put her down.  I didn't want her to feel alone or abandoned.  She looked so sweet...so innocent in that little hospital gown...

We really missed Ms. R while we were away from her.  We missed her giggles, her bouncing and most of all her beautiful little spirit that can cheer you in the midst of sadness.  It felt like we were incomplete, lop-sided, missing a link.  When we came home with Ms. K we put the girls on the floor together.  It was like two old ladies chatting and giggling like they hadn't seen each other in months.  So precious.  As I have said many times before, their bond is amazing and special and priceless.

Trying to get back into the "norm" today a little bit.  Although after we got home yesterday I kind of hit a wall of tears.  I was just emotionally spent.   Good thing the hubs is always full of amazing perspective and kind words.  We were a real team through this ordeal with Ms. K.  It makes me appreciate him and my marriage - speaking of that......I almost forgot it's our anniversary tomorrow.  It's been 3 wonderful years. 

Thank you ALL for your part in helping us through the weekend.  Whether it was through prayer, uplifting texts, or physically being with us - you all played a part and we love you.

With love,

Cuz I'm the mama!