OK - this phase known as "Separation Anxiety" is causing this mama some major anxiety of my own.
I am here today seeking any and all advice from other mamas (and especially twin mamas) with how you moved through this challenging phase in your child's development.
Of course I've done some online reading and research, but I guess I would rather hear some suggestions from mamas with first hand experience.
Right now I am mostly struggling with Ms. R. She wants me to hold her ALL of the time. Not being dramatic here - when I say ALL - I mean ALL of the time!! And, if I put her down to leave the room - it's a meltdown like I've not seen before this "phase".
I suppose this is even more challenging with Ms. R because from birth she acted like more the "independent" soul. Ms. K was more clingy when she was just a newborn babe. Now, Ms. K isn't so traumatized when I try to leave the immediate area, but as soon as Ms. R gets upset Ms. K feels the need to join in too. It's quite the scene as I am sure most of you have experienced.
So - if you've tried something and it worked (or didn't) I would do just about anything for your help. OK - within reason. I can promise you that I'll return the favor if you ever need some advice on somethin' I might know somethin' about! :-) I'll be there for ya!!
And, if you truly don't have any great suggestions for me - maybe just a note telling me that "this too shall pass" would help me see the light!
Thank you!!
With love,
Cuz I'm the mama!
I'm "mama" to twin girls and their little sister! My goal is to document our crazy adventures in parenting. We were so blessed when our twin miracles arrived -- we don't want to forget a minute! Being a mama of three girls is simply AMAZING and drama-filled! Welcoming baby GIRL #3 was so exciting and surprising! Life is very FULL - hands and hearts! I hope you enjoy a peek into our lives with three silly girls, a busy daddy and a CRAZY mama to boot!
So sorry to hear your having difficulty w/separation anxiety. My boys are 15 months and when they were your girls age they didn't quite have meltdowns when I left the room. However, at 15 months they definetely show more signs of it now. My boys are older so right now if they are being too clingy I try not to give in and pick them up all the time. I will encourage them to go play and sometimes ignore the whining. Usually works when I "ignore" the whining.
ReplyDeleteI know it's rough on the mama when you're the human pacifier. Praying it get better and that your little one will get through this soon.
Bless your heart (and theirs, of course, too!)!
ReplyDeleteOur girls didn't struggle with separation anxiety until they were a little older. It was the worst between 12 and 14 months, and at 17 months it still pops up from time to time. I even took Baby B to the doctor when she was about 14 months old. I thought for sure her eardrums were rotten, as she was crying so much. :)
I **know** this is easier said than done, but I try to just hold the hard line. If I am certain that the girls are not hungry, tired, hurt, and they have clean diapers (i.e. there's no real reason they should be crying), I just walk away when I need to. I'll turn my back, and when the crying starts, I'll repeat over and over - as I'm walking away and not looking back - "Baby B, you're OK. You're OK. Baby B, you're OK..." 4 times out of 5, she'll calm down within a minute or so. I think this has worked to some degree...and I have also read that separation anxiety is just a natural phase, and babies will outgrow it with time.
Our downstairs is pretty open, and I purposefully leave the girls in the den for periods of time by themselves (it's completely baby-proof and I can see it from the kitchen). I don't interact with them 100% of the time. I want them to learn to entertain themselves / each other without me always there to hug, kiss, read, play, etc., etc.
I hope this helps in some small way. Hang in there!!! And you're right, this, too, shall pass. :)
Thanks for stopping by and following my blog. Your daughters are precious!!!
ReplyDeleteMy daughters are turning 5 in August and their personalities flip-flop. Just when I think I have them figured out, they flip it on us. : )
Twins love to keep their parents on their toes.
Abby was my clingier one when they were babies. My husband had a complex about her not wanting him to hold her but I told him to continue (while I was cooking or cleaning). At every diaper change, bath time, etc. we switched up so she eventually got used to the idea of not getting held by me all the time.
Hang in there - it will get better.